"Isn't she lovely"

Just how did I get this stunning? Let me tell you how we threw ourselves into the deep end of the pool. It all happened last weekend.

So what did our little family decide to do last Sunday?.....a day that just happened to have some of the worst weather our city has seen.....a day that racked up property damage and insurance claims by the millions? Oh, we decided to go for a lovely outing to our local historical village, Heritage Park. Brilliant!!

In fairness we didn't really know just how bad the weather was going to get. We knew there were wind warnings for later in the morning so we decided to head out early. There was a bit of a breeze when we arrived at 10:00am. No problem. We made our way around the park enjoying the sites.

Kid sized maze before the winds came.

The kids in front of an amazing miniature train display that went all the way to the back of the room.

The first hour was uneventful. I mean, we had fun but the winds were reasonable. Little did we know that by afternoon the winds would be so bad that the entire downtown core would be shut down because of windows blowing out of high rises, semi-trailer trucks blowing over on the highways, trees ripped out of the ground, and the rooftops of many buildings being peeled back like tin foil.

By the time we got to the reindeer the winds had really picked up. This clip is of us waiting our turn to pet the crazy sleigh pullers. You may recognize Drew in the green and Camryn in the pink. Guess how much fun we were having by this point.

Our 20 second reward for braving the elements.....we touched a real reindeer. Oh joy!!

By the time we got back to the car we had dodged falling tree branches, flying debris, gusts that knock us to and fro, and enough dirt up our noses to build our own old time sod house. Now that is how our family lives the history folks!!

Even vultures can have self doubt

This just might be the weirdest title for my blog yet. I will explain how I got to it. Let me start with a little bit of background. Camryn is tremendously in love with all things animal. She would rather watch a documentary about the life of sea turtles than to watch cartoons. She has a million stuffed animals. She loves animals so much that she wishes she could be one. We've had more than one tear-filled conversation about how badly she wants to be one someday. Most kids want to grow up and be a teacher, a doctor, or a fire fighter. Camryn wants to be a dragon. I kid you not.

So it's probably no surprise that our wall calendar each year consists of some animal theme. This year it was one from the Twisted Whisker's collection. For those of you not familiar with it just imagine drawings of cute kittens and puppies that are altered so that they all have bugged out eyes. Tada!! Pure genius. This year I decided to buy a calendar from the Planet Earth series. I believe they created a series of nature documentaries. I should know this as the parent of an animal fanatic but please forgive me. I've seen so many documentaries about animals in the last few years that they all start to blend together. I mean how many stunning images can one person file in their brain?

So I brought home the calendar which features beautiful photos of various animals. I figured Camryn would enjoy it. Let me state for the record that she did ask my permission to write on the calendar. At first she wanted to know when her soccer practices were so I told her. She marked them down. Then she wanted to know when Valentines day was. She marked that down too. Little did I know just how much liberty she would take with the "Sure honey, you can write on the new calendar" phrase that spilled out of my mouth. Let's just say I should have known better. Here is what I found earlier tonight....presented in a sort of photo essay. I have made the photos bigger so that you can see some of the fabulous details added by Camryn.

The front cover....so far so good.

Cute little critters added to the vast landscape. Who knew that seals lived in shallow tropical waters just feet away from elephants and house cats?

This big guy is thinking "It's your birthday". The little one can clearly read minds and responds back with "Ya duu" which I assume is "Yah duh". So nice to have a snarky primate isn't it? Oh wait....I'm being a snarky primate right now. Never mind.

A creature with no mouth or brain says "Blub, blub, blub, blub" and thinks "Hey wait up for me". Pretty spectacular jelly fish don't you agree? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that he has a lucky horse shoe, his own pet tadpole, and eyebrows.

Simultauously all three lions say the exact same thing at the exact same time. I think someone needs to scream out "Jinx".

This caption says "Sing, I wish I had a g.f." I'm not sure about you but when I'm lonely all I want to do is sing too. Maybe if this poor lonely bear didn't have a teeny, tiny mutant footprint on his nose or snout rot he would have better luck with the ladies on bear-Harmony.

A whole lot of telepathy going on. I guess the creatures who actually have mouths just chose not to use them. It's only those blabbermouthed jelly fish that won't shut up.

For those of you unfamiliar with reading calendar art let me translate. This says "I know how I look, yet I just got a makeover today". And I say in response "Girlfriend you should get your money back!! What they did to you is not right".

Gee, look at who's to good to pee in the ocean. Snob.

Well at least you remembered your manners you crazy little bear.

The bird on the top who I will call Marvin for the purposes of this story says "I can do it". His friend who is apparently named Jelf says "That's the spirit". But deep down Marvin has some self doubt....but at least it's not Jelf doubt....oh I crack me up.

Birthdays

Today is my 37th birthday. A day that I've been dreading for weeks now. I'm not really sure why though. It's not like 37 is a milestone birthday or anything. It's not a particularly special number or anything. It's just 37. I guess though that it kind of feels like the slide towards 40. I can't really pretend that I'm in my mid 30's anymore because I'm now looking ahead to the next milestone rather than just enjoying being here now.

The day started out with waking up before I really wanted to out of guilt that my children had been up for half an hour and despite being 12 and 9 still don't know how to get themselves cereal or even a snack yet. So I dragged myself downstairs in order that they didn't starve to death. Hero cookie for me!! We did sit around in our PJ's for a bit and then off to get the flu vaccine for Drew. We opted for the nasal mist rather than going for a needle. This option only seems to be available at a local grocery store chain rather than the heath region so off we went for groceries and a live flu virus....yeah!! There was only one dose of the mist left in this quadrant of the city so Drew got it and I'll take Camryn back in a few days when they get more. It's probably just as well because Cammie has a soccer game in the morning and then goalie training in the afternoon. I figured she wouldn't have had much fun if her body was also fighting off a weakened virus. I know....another hero cookie right?

We went for a fun lunch with my parents and then tonight I headed out with a great friend for some wine tasting. I guess I should clarify. I thought it would just be wines but they had samples of pretty much every type of alcohol you can imagine. Plus free food. Good laughs, good wine, good food, and fantastic company. It was such a wonderful way to ring in a birthday that I was dreading. So far 37 has been okay. Here's hoping that the other 364 days until 38 will be just as great.

One smart cookie....

It's starting to feel a lot like Christmas these days. Okay, well we've have some unseasonably warm weather here but take a look in every store and you are probably seeing chocolates, ornaments, and toys crowding the shelves. I guess it shouldn't have been a surprise that my daughter Camryn was starting to think about her list for Santa.

Several years ago Camryn asked for a toy horse that she could ride that walked and bucked. If you are wondering why you have never heard of this toy....well that's because it just doesn't exist. Oh sure her grandparents and I have tried passing off other toy horses that neigh, make a crunching noise when you place a toy carrot in it's mouth, and you can sit on it. Yup. Not at all what she had in mind. I thought I'd get smart and that year Santa wrote Camryn a lovely letter talking about how they had tried to build her a toy horse that walked and bucked but that it kept breaking down. Santa said he was sorry but that that he and the elves didn't want to give her a broken toy for Christmas. He had one of his very best elves Zippy Twinkletoes on the job to make her something else very special that year. I thought it was genius. I also thought that that was the end of it. Not so much....

Again the following year she asked for a toy horse that walked and had a "buck mode". Yah...still doesn't exist so this time Zippy himself writes the letter to Camryn saying that he and the other elves had been working very hard to build this toy horse. This time though Zippy's sister Dazzle was testing the horse's buck mode and it flung her across the workshop. Thankfully she landed in a pile of stuffed elephants and wasn't seriously hurt. Phew. Hello lawsuit!!

Probably not the real Zippy

So I was feeling rather smug and thinking that this year she would forget about this toy horse or at least that she would know that Santa wasn't going to risk anymore elf lives by trying to make such a seriously dangerous toy. Yah, think again sister. She still wants this stupid horse. She even wrote her letter this year and stated that it was okay if it didn't have a buck mode. She didn't want any of the elves to get hurt. She'll just settle for a brown horse that walks and she can ride on it. Yup....even that doesn't exist. I've googled it. There are a few products that are close but she doesn't want the one that bobs up and down. It has to walk.

I've officially been outsmarted by my 9 year old. At least she doesn't know that yet. And for those of you in the crowd that think that I should get her horse back riding lessons instead....um, done that. Santa gave that to her last year when he crushed her little heart and didn't bring this toy. She enjoyed the lessons but she still wants this horse very badly. I'm worried that she'll stop believing in Santa after this year if he can't produce the goods. She told me that he is magic and he can do anything. Sigh. I'm trying honey.....I'm trying.

Oatmeal freckles

Let me start this blog by saying that I am a little bit weird about food. I like my milk to be fresh. If it's not fresh and I have to worry about smelling it I am just as likely to toss it as take the whiff and end up gagging. I also used to have trouble touching raw meat. Imagine cooking for a family and not being able to touch raw meat. I am over it but it took a lot of aversion therapy.....self inflicted.....to move past it. And to this day I'm not really good about trying new things. I like what I like. However I do eat quite a few things that other people won't such as brussel sprouts, beets, and asparagus. So I'm not beyond help.

Camryn on the other hand is extremely weird about her food. They should not touch on a dinner plate. There will be no eating of any mixed up foods such as stew. Forget all sauces because she probably won't touch whatever it's covering. Yogurt must not have even the smallest bit of fruit chunk in it.

And then there is Oatmeal. Please give me the strength to watch that child eat oatmeal just one more morning. Do you know how oats will sometimes have a slightly dark spot in on the tip of the grain? Yah, to Camryn that is disgusting and vile and should not be in her bowl....of oatmeal. Yes, servant....remove the oats from my oatmeal!! But when asked what do you want for breakfast guess what she always wants. Ding, ding, ding. You win the grand prize if you said "Oatmeal". Let's get past the fact that it also can't be too thick or too runny. If you get the consistency just right then you need to watch her pick at the bowl for 20 minutes as she tries to avoid getting one of these grains on her spoon.

"Dino-egg" oatmeal with said dark spots

I tried to tell her that the dark spots were just like the freckles on her face. She looked at me thoughtfully and said "like oatmeal freckles?". Yes, honey you've got it. It's just a spot that doesn't change the person...or oat inside. Then she went back to carefully picking through the oatmeal with her spoon for the next 10 minutes.

Is 7:30 am too early to start drinking red wine? Who's with me?