OMG. My Newbie is showing

So yesterday I told you that I was moving to a new site and gave you the link to get there right? Do you know how sometimes when you move to a new place a few things get lost or broken? Well it turns out I moved to the wrong house (so to speak). My new site also had some of the limitations that I was trying to get away from. So here it is. My all or nothing move. This is the "new" new site.

I promise you that for better or worse I will stay committed to this new site. However I can't promise you it won't drive me bonkers either. Kind of like marriage don't you think?

I have updated the link in my last post but if you were an early adopter of my new location then you might have to update your link again. My photo blog will remain at the same address it's just THIS blog that has changed. My sincere apologies for being a pain in the butt. Once more with feeling......"Follow me I know the way!! Hee hee."

Click here.

Throwing myself off the cliff to see if I can fly.....what have I done?

Officially this blog has been active for a little over 2 years. However it wasn't until about 14 months ago that I started blogging on a regular basis. Okay....so it took almost a year for me to figure out what the heck I was doing. Now you know.

So in these last 14 months my blog has steadily grown. I think at last count I had 36 countries reading it. That astounds me to be honest. I started this as a bit of a kick and figured I'd be lucky if I could just keep a few friends amused.

Now I average about 300 readers a month which is still considered to be small by blog standards. However I am quickly outgrowing this hosting site. I have a little bit of a love-hate thing going on with Blogger. On the one hand you can set it up in a matter of minutes and be ready to go but there are also many, many limitations.

Me on an average blogging night

So I'm putting on my big girl panties and marching over to my new website. It might be a complete and utter disaster but it could be fun for you to watch. The content will be the same stuff you know and love from my insane life. I hope you'll follow me as I make this move.

This site will stay here for the short term but I am also starting on a new Blogger adventure. Yes....here at the same site that drives me crazy some days. I'm dripping my feet into the wild world of photography!! Because of Blogger's limited nature I can't make adjustments to my photo blog without changing this one too. I hope you are just as annoyed about that as I am? What, you don't care? I don't even know you anymore.

If you feel like checking out this new venture as well please do. You'll be my new favourite blog reader. The new site is The Limping Photographer. It will be about my adventures as a student in the art of photography. It will be more of a photo style blog and hopefully less laughing at my expense.

Thanks for an amazing adventure so far. See you over at http://Seriouslycouldntmakethisup.wordpress.com/

The adventures of Some-bunny

I apologize for not writing for a week and a half. I just got back from the "much anticipated" (read dreaded) band camp of which it took a few days to get ready for and a few days to recover from.

Just before we left Camryn announced that she was going to miss Drew and I very much. She wanted us to keep Mr. Bunny (seen above) with us while she was hanging out at Grandma and Grandpa's house. So Drew and I decided that Mr. Bunny should come along on the trip. I think Drew thought it was a good idea so that he would have a legitimate excuse to have a stuffed animal on his junior high band trip...."Just in case".

So these are the adventures of Mr. Bunny....at band camp.

This was Mr. Bunny looking out the bus window. It was a bumpy ride on the way up there. It probably didn't help that the band teacher and the bus driver got into an argument moments before leaving the school. And guess who wasn't on the bus with us because she was driving the U-haul with all the instruments in it? If you said the band teacher you are correct. Awesome right? I swear he swerved so that we would hit every single bump on that road. Oh yah and we even ended up in a snow bank. Let that be a lesson to you kids.....don't piss off the bus driver.

Mr. Bunny finally chooses a bed. We had 6 to chose from with just Drew, myself, and Mr. Bunny sharing a room. Of course Drew also took awhile to pick a bunk. Sometimes you're better off having someone else assign one for you.

Mr. Bunny being naughty while the kids are at their 2 hour band practice. Here he is sneaking into other kids rooms. To be honest I was glad for the company so that I didn't need to sit with the Cult of the Band Moms. Yes I would rather hang out with a stuffed bunny. Um....did I say that out loud? I will say that there was one other mother on the trip that fought assimilation. It was not an easy.

The dining hall where only the finest gruel and slop is served....well that and carrots.....lots and lots of carrots. Even Mr. Bunny was complaining that if he ever sees another carrot in his stuffed life it will be too soon.

Warming up by the fire place in the Fireside room. I wonder where they came up with such an original name? Mr. Bunny (the stuffed bunny) thought it was quite creative. By the looks of that fireplace I guess I should be grateful it isn't called the Lodge Inferno room.

Mr. Bunny thinking about pushing down the Double Bass and blaming it on the kid that plays it. Mr. Bunny kept calling him "the little punk". I tried to explain that he was probably a really nice child whose parents have put in a lot of effort to raise him with wonderful manners and that he's just misunderstood as he goes through the flux of teenage hormonal imbalance. Mr. Bunny wasn't buying any of my crap though. I tried. (This kid really was exceptional to deal with....and keep in mind I work with children who bite)

Drew being a pretty good sport and holding Mr. Bunny (wearing a red parka) the morning before we left. The kids were doing a scavenger hunt so everyone was gathered. As I hand Drew Mr. Bunny for the photo he loudly says "Okay Mom, I will hold my sister's stuffed bunny for YOU. I know my sister will want to see pictures of HER rabbit when we get home". The funny thing is that you can see most of the kids aren't even turned in our direction so he probably drew ten times as much attention by announcing it. He he.

One of Drew's teachers heard his subtle announcement and after all the kids took off running she wanted to borrow Mr. Bunny for some photo opportunities and tobogganing. She had already asked several of the adults and kids and nobody would go with her. She said she didn't want to look silly tobogganing by herself. I didn't have the heart to tell her that taking a stuffed bunny in an over sized dog parka wasn't helping her cause.

And that my friends was band camp....

A decade and a bit later....

I just read another blog that touched me deeply. It was written by a dad whose second son was born the morning of September 11, 2001. You can link to it here. I found it very touching.

It gave me goose bumps as he described what it was like to welcome a child on the day that most people think changed the world and will forever be associated with war, profound grief, and sheer terror. It made me think about my own September 11th moment surrounding my second child, Camryn.

Just a few days before that fateful day I had blissfully been watching my first born, Drew. He was an energetic 2 year old at the time and I was just over 3 months pregnant. I had been feeling relieved that I had made it through those scary first few weeks of pregnancy when miscarriages are the most likely. Life was good and we were enjoying a wonderful day. Sun streamed through the window as Drew played happily on the warmed, wooden floor of our master bedroom. I was folding his freshly washed laundry marvelling at how such a little boy could have such humongous feet. I blame his father for that one. For that short time the world seemed in balance. It was just a few moments later that I realized I had started bleeding. Although I had had some light bleeding during my pregnancy with Drew it had been much earlier in the pregnancy and not nearly as much. 

My heart sank and I quickly rushed to the phone. I remember Drew's sweet little voice in the background as he played unfazed by my sudden action. I tried desperately to flip through the pages of my address book and my hands were shaking as I dialed the number for our midwives. I remember them instructing me that I couldn't stop a miscarriage at this point and that if it was happening there was nothing anybody could really do about it. I'm sure they said something soothing to me but I don't remember any of it. It was like tunnel vision and all I could focus on was that I might be losing her. I can recall the horror that this once perfect day was now a nightmare. I wanted so desperately to do something, anything to make this go away and no happen to me.

My midwives called back in a few hours to see how I was doing. The panic had stopped and I just laid in bed and cried. They had scheduled me for an ultrasound two days later at 10:30am on September 11th. I can still recall the exact appointment time because that is the only thing I thought about for the next 48 hours. To make matters worse my then husband had been scheduled to fly out of town on September 10th. He was working as a medic in the oilfields and would be out in the middle of nowhere without a phone. I had to do this without him. I remember feeling hurt and betrayed by him leaving but in reality we didn't really have the option of turning down a whole month's worth of income. It was with a heavy heart that I drove him to the airport.

The morning of the 11th I woke up early. The truth was that I had hardly slept for 2 days and so I was up at the crack of dawn with Drew. He being his sweet little self was happy to sit and watch cartoons on our local preschool television channel as I ran around getting ready for my appointment.

I would have normally watched the news in the morning but was completely disinterested in anything remotely "real". I was numb and didn't want to hear about the latest person being released from prison or how many car crashes had happened over night. I just wanted to get to the appointment and find out if my baby was still alive.

It was finally time to leave. With a sense of dread I strapped Drew into his car seat and we started on our way. I remember the announcers on the radio talking about a bad plane crash in New York and how a second plane had hit the Towers. It didn't register in my distracted brain that the world had just changed forever. At that moment I didn't get it at all.

I arrived at the appointment and to my utter relief Camryn was still doing well inside my tummy. Whatever had happened hadn't harmed her and it was like the world suddenly had color again. I sat in amazement watching this little heart beat fluttering in the hazy blur of the ultrasound screen. I've never felt such relief in my life. My baby was okay. I hadn't expected that and it was a joyful moment. 

How I felt after the good news

 As the day unfolded I became acutely aware of what was happening in the world. Once again I felt such loss and grief. I thought how can I bring a baby into a world like this? How do I raise Drew and this tiny little baby in such chaos? My mind swirled. I felt so sad for this new little life inside of me to come into a place where anybody could hate someone else so much. I felt guilty that I might never be able to give my children a peaceful and blissfully ignorant childhood. Would I have to talk to them about hiding under their desks when the air sirens blare out or what it meant to be at war? I hoped not.

It was a day of mixed emotions. I didn't know quite how to feel. Joy or sadness? Relief or terror?

And now Camryn's turning 10 in just a few weeks. I can't imagine my life without her in it. Even thinking about it now brings tears to my eyes.

A funny girl right from the start

For me September 11th, 2001 was one of the best days of my life but yet it had such a profound impact on me too. I long for a day that our children could grow up innocent and not have to be surrounded by the evil in the world. But then I just take a look at her lovely, little face and realize that there is such wonder and goodness in this world too. I sure do love that kid.  

To read the blog that inspired this post here is the link again: Becoming a Dad On 9/11