Dear Colleen, Drew, and Camryn,
I hereby am giving you notice that I am filing an official complaint against your family. In the last 7 days I have been to your house to retrieve 4 teeth. Yes, count them....1...2...3...4 teeth. You have to be serious. Who do you think I am? Peter Pan? I have a family I could be spending time with you know. I can't just be out 4 nights a week picking up teeth from you as if I don't have to fly my kids to soccer practice or go to fairy parent-teacher interviews. Camryn losing 3 baby teeth and then Drew losing one as well. All within 7 days. Sheesh!!
I am overworked and underpaid. I'm going broke you know!! If I have to dig through my change purse and fly all the way to your house carrying another loonie or toonie.....and given how tiny my wings are. I mean come on!!
I insist on more holidays between visits. Maybe even save up and I can pick them up all at once. I would also like benefits so that I can get a massage or some chiropractic care every now and then. Okay I admit when both kids lost teeth on the same day I got to do the two teeth in one night....but it was already my third visit that week. Then I just had to carry two coins at once so it really didn't make it any easier for me. I have strained a wing and do you even care?
As I am now on short term disability due to my chronic wing condition you may not be seeing me for awhile. In the mean time the Easter Bunny has agreed to fill in for me. I suggest that you leave out some carrots for him though. The last family that forgot found a little pile of bunny droppings by the bed. I'm just letting you know.
The tooth fairy
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