Oh my Murphy!!

A few weeks ago I came into my room and found Murphy in my bed. He was just sitting there on my pillow. You may wonder who the heck is Murphy and why is he on Colleen's bed anyway? Well I asked myself the same questions....only I didn't talk to myself in third person....just in case you were wondering. You see Murphy is a monkey. A stuffed one at that. Okay, okay, let's get technical shall we. Actually Murphy is not a monkey, he is an ape but I like calling him a monkey and I'll tell you why.

"Murphy" by Camryn

For starters Murphy the Monkey sounds way better than Murphy the Ape. Don't you agree? Great! I love when we have consensus. Secondly it would probably really bug my first University professor to no end for me to call him a monkey. You see just a few years ago....and then a lot more before that.....I walked into my very first lecture at the local University. The class was Human Evolution and it was taught by a professor that introduced herself as "the bitch of the Anthropology department". Her words, not mine. You can imagine I sat through that first class wondering if I was really cut out for post secondary education or if I'd be better off anywhere else but that lecture hall. I will give her a bit of credit though. It reduced the class size by about half before the next session. I made it through this course and a year or two later took Primate Behavior from her as well. I learned two very important lessons in that class. The first was that Bonobos are freaky little primates and I don't mean in a make your skin crawl kind of way. Let's just say they really like each other. A lot!! To them sex is like saying "Hi buddy, how's it going?" or "Nice weather we are having". They have no standards and no boundaries. The second lesson I learned in that class is that monkeys have tales and apes do not and under no circumstances are they to be mixed up. Basically this prof told us that if we couldn't get that one thing right she would fail us even if it was the only mistake we made on a test. Awesome!! For those of you who know me or who have been following my blog you'll notice that I went into Psychology and not Anthropology as my major. Coincidence?



Murphy in real life



About a year after taking the Primate Behavior course I was working my dead end job at a local discount retailer that sticks happy faces on everything to make people think they are happy. Ha ha ha, he he he, ho ho ho. Yah. Anyway I was finishing what had been a very long shift working on the cash register when looky looky who walks up to my till. My former professor Ms. Monkey expert. She looked really happy (did you catch the sarcasm, it was there). Guess the happy faces had no effect on her feelings shield. Imagine the sound track from Star Wars with the humming of light sabres and ray guns being deflected by magical force fields. I introduced myself as a former student. She kind of perked up. I wish that hadn't happened because I was about to ruin her day all over again I just didn't know it yet. She asked me which course I had taken from her. Well damned if I could recall the name of either course at that moment. I could place the blame on any number of factors. Maybe it was the coffee from the staff room that had that hint of chemical flavour in it, or the synthetic fibres from my uniform, or the awesome store morale that made you want to give yourself a lobotomy but truthfully it was just one of those moments when I should have shut up about 5 minutes earlier than I did. It finally occurs to me and I said "I think it was Human Evolution". The smile falls off her face and crashes like a crystal figurine on the floor. She says "You THINK it was Human Evolution. Wow, that's super. My life has meaning now". She takes her bags and walks away. All I can hear is the click, click, click sound of her shoes on the floor tiles. I guess that could have gone better. One good thing came out of our chance meeting though. I was able to corroborate that she was indeed the bitch of the Anthropology Department.

Playdate with "Rainbow Butt Monkey" who is also an ape.

So long story short the stuffed primate on my bed is Murphy and I'm calling him a monkey because I want to and nobody can stop me. Murphy has actually been in our house for about 2 years now but he has only recently been upgraded in status to a name worthy stuffie. We have lots of plush toys that call our house a home but only a few get a name that anyone can actually remember a few weeks down the road. The only reason I bought Murphy was because he came with a cool video about Chimpanzees. He was a package deal. Until recently he was also just an after thought. However one day I walked into my room to find him sitting on my pillow. Camryn advised me that he now belonged to me. This is not uncommon. Camryn is a very generous kid but when it comes to any kind of stuffed animal she has a hard time parting with it for long so typically any plush toys I ever get from her end up right back in her room by the end of the day. However Murphy was still in my room the next day and then the day after that. It's now been a few weeks and to be honest I kind of just expect him to be there when I walk in now. It's not so much the fact that I have a stuffed animal in my room to keep me company as it is that he is evidence of Camryn's progress and growth. Of course the fact that I insist on calling him a monkey is apparently not evidence of my progress or growth. Glad one of us is maturing.