Open letter to my Snow Man





Dear Snow Removal Guy,

We seem to have gotten off on the wrong foot. Please know that I love the idea of someone else shovelling my sidewalks. I really do. Especially in -34 C wind chills. For that I will forever be in your debt. However I would like to chat with you about a few things.

First it isn't very nice to bury my car as you pass along the sidewalk with your snow blower. Remember that time you watched me sweep all the snow off my vehicle? That glint in your eye. Me stupidly standing there with the snow brush still in my hand watching you mere seconds before you came along and blew twice as much snow back onto it. That was awesome!! Really one of my best moments ever. I think you thought I was mad at you when I was screaming and swearing but really in my heart I was trying to show you how much I appreciated all your hard work. I was just so overwhelmed with love at that moment I didn't know how else to express it. You got me good. Really funny to do that just as I'm leaving for work. Ha ha. Score one for you friend. 

My car partially dug out



I realize that I am partly to blame. After all I park so close to the walkway....the same place I have parked for over 6 years. Just because that is my assigned spot is no excuse and I agree that I should just accept it. But since we are such good buddies could I ask that when you are deciding between my car and the green space to dump snow could you please at least consider the green space as a possible alternative? That would be ever so sweet of you. Not that I don't love having to get help digging my car out of the igloo you have built over it. It's very creative and child centred of you to think how much fun the kids and I could have in there. I just don't want to have too much fun. I might stop appreciating the little things you do for me. I'm sure there are other people who deserve this kind of special treatment too. I certainly don't want to be greedy and keep all this excitement just for myself.



Stairs....yes really!!



Secondly I would like to point a little thing out to you. There is no point shovelling the walk and then leaving the stairs with a foot of snow and ice. It's actually not the flat surfaces that pose the greatest risk. No really. I mean it. I know it's hard to believe but understand that as your biggest fan ever.....EVER, I promise not to steer you wrong. I've watched more than a few of my fellow condo dwellers swan dive off those suckers. You may have noticed the deep indents in the snow where their bodies lay motionless for several seconds as they get their barrings. Me standing there wondering if I need to call 9-1-1. I appreciate the adrenaline rush but understand that my heart doesn't need any help to beat. It's doing okay without your assistance. Thank you for thinking about me though. Nobody clears the walks or cares like you do. I like the added touch of having the snow collapsing back onto the stairs. Makes it more treacherous for the senior citizens in the complex. You and I are both laughing about that one. "Oh here comes another one" we both say as we chuckle under our breaths. That just never gets old does it?

Third I would really prefer to sleep at 6:00am on a Saturday morning rather than listen to you randomly blowing snow around the complex. Of course there isn't much else on this earth more amusing than drinking my morning coffee while I watch you and your friends sabotage each others hard work. You blowing snow on your buddies freshly cleared walk way and then when you go around the corner he does it back to you. Oh man that's great. I get so much joy from this game of cat and mouse. Not quite as much fun as when you cover my car but it's still pretty awesome. I also love the fact that the condo is likely being billed by the hour. Makes it that much funnier to see you recovering the sidewalks and then having to go over them again.

Well buddy I think that's all for now. Thanks again for everything you do. I know that your strong work ethic and attention to detail will lead you far in life. I can hardly wait to see you move up the corporate ladder. You will be greatly missed once the snow disappears. Here's hoping for a quick end to winter.

Your friend,
Colleen