Super carb-aholic expialidocious

Picky eater !!

Two words that strike fear in parents who don't have one and cause an anxious knot in the pit of the stomachs of those that do. If you are already a member of this club welcome back. If you are not yet initiated we will save you a place. Lucky me I have two of them and guess what? They are picky about different things. Try not to be jealous okay?

Yes, Camryn is my super carb-aholic kid. If a food is white she'll consider it. If it falls into one of the following categories she'll probably put it in her mouth. Pasta, rice, potatoes, bread. All carbs, all the time. Regardless of what it is make sure it doesn't have any spice, no lumps for goodness sake, should be one solid color without a hint of extra anything in it, no funny smells or weird sounding names, and if possible should be a food she's already familiar with.

I would say that she's always been fussy about food right from the start. She certainly wasn't impressed with any solid foods except for Mini-Go yogurt. Those suckers were gold to her and she'd eat as many as you could find in the fridge. She'll still eat those things like they were going out of style. As a toddler it was all about Kraft Dinner. Gee that never went away either. Don't even get me started with how much milk that kid would drink. All that calcium was super helpful when she went through her biting phase. Yippee!! Strong teeth. She was so set in what she would eat that we even had to introduce brown chicken to the menu. This was a magical food at our table. Something my picky eater couldn't live without. Bet your dying for this mystery recipe. Okay here it is. Brown chicken and rice:  First go to the store and buy ground beef. Yes I said beef. You see brown chicken is not really even chicken at all. It used to moo. Brown it. No spice except for a pinch of salt. Serve it with rice. Voila!! A masterpiece. Only the fanciest dinners at my house. Wonder why I never have dinner parties? Now you know.

At the age of three there was absolutely no way she was going to eat anything but chicken so "brown" chicken it was. I couldn't believe she actually fell for it. The other day I tried serving "beef and rice". Silly me. She just looked at me like what garbage are you trying to pull Mom? What can I say it seemed like a brilliant idea at the time but now 8 years later we still eat our special brown chicken and rice. At least she'll put it in her mouth.

Then I have Andrew who is the most polite picky eater I have ever met. He will sweetly say "No thank you" or "I'm full" after only a few bites rather than consume a food he does not like. Now some of you are probably sitting there thinking to yourself "kids will eat if they are hungry enough". Please know I'm not trying to hurt your feelings when I say that's garbage. Maybe a perfectly typical kid somehow understands that theory but as a mother of a kid who would actually starve himself just believe me when I say that it's not always the case. When he turned three Drew didn't gain any weight for a year and a half because he simply refused to eat more than two bites of anything....yes, I mean anything....even candy. The biggest problem though was that his list of acceptable foods kept changing. That was actually harder than dealing with Camryn who was pretty reliable in what she would or wouldn't eat. Drew would love broccoli for 3 weeks and then one day simply refuse to eat it again for two years. The only food that never went out of style for him was good old PB&J sandwiches. That was really nice except that you can't take those to school anymore for fear of allergies. I've had to try and get creative with weekday lunches but truthfully he's just opted to go hungry many times. Given how skinny he is already you can see why I just try to give him what he likes.

For those of you that are still in the midst of your struggle I will offer you my not so sage wisdom. Who do you think I am, Yoda? This is all I got people....

1. If you change the name they will come. Okay, changing the name of a food may not fool your kid like it did in our house but it's worth a shot. What's the worst that can happen? They grow up and totally embarrass themselves when they try to order brown chicken steak? Serves them right for everything they put you through.
2. Give them a Kraft Dinner sandwiches if that's what they'll eat. Okay, so everyone you know will think you are completely insane....you probably are. Accept it and move on. You have years to lay guilt trips on them for all the anguish and public humiliation they have caused. Get them back by dressing them in a reindeer sweater, take a picture, and show all their friends when they are fourteen. You'll feel better I promise.
3. Keep putting a variety of foods on their plates. Even if you know they won't try them just have it sitting there. If they freak out about that put it on a plate near them. One day you just might be surprised and they'll put it in their mouth. Try not to jump up and down screaming "I win. Your going down kid!!". Scaring the heck out of them probably won't leave a positive association of that food in their minds. Sit back and do a happy dance in your head but on the outside be as cool as ice. You rocked it and you know it!!
4. Lastly with all kidding aside. Ask for help if you need it. It's out there. If your kid is so picky they really won't eat, are losing weight, are getting so selective that they are down to only 5 or 10 foods total, or it's really impacting your family ask your doctor for help. And tell them that I sent you. Gratuities are gratefully accepted but your undying adoration is more than enough.