This week marked a pretty big milestone for our family. Tuesday Andrew went on an overnight class trip. This was big for him because he's never been to any kind of a sleepover....ever. Sure he goes to his dad's every second weekend and sleeps at grandma and grandpa's house once a week but it's different being away from your family in an unfamiliar place especially for someone with Autism. It was a big step for me as well to be able to let him go. Drew is the kind of kid who could get lost 10 feet away from me. Imagine my horror at the thought of sending him into the woods without me. Worse yet during the presentation at his school before the trip the teachers talked about the bears in the area. Awesome....are you trying to convince me to bail?
You may assume that I'm just overprotective of him and you might be a little bit right. However there is good reason for being protective of Drew. Despite testing as having a very high IQ he struggles with some basic skills like learning his phone number and address. Recently I had him tested by a speech pathologist as part of our application for Specialized Services (an intervention program). When the speech pathologist asked him his full name he had to really think about it. When she asked him what grade he was in he said "Grade 6" and then turned to me and said "Right Mom?" just to make sure. When he's stressed or upset he has an even harder time remembering basic facts. He just doesn't retain enough of his information to reliably help himself in an emergency. Sure you say but he doesn't need to know his middle names or his phone number when a bear is chasing him through the woods right? While that is probably true the fact still remains that he doesn't always know the stuff he needs to know. So you can understand why I live in mortal fear of him getting lost even at the store.
Both his teacher and his aide are on the trip so he does have familiar people with him. They are amazing ladies and I have no doubt that they care about Drew and will look out for him. In the end I let him go because I know that it's important for him to have this experience. To my surprise he was actually excited to go. Drew doesn't always embrace change so this came as a bit of a shock for me. The morning he was set to leave was a bit of an emotional roller coaster. He woke up absolutely giddy with excitement but the first thing that didn't go quite right brought him to tears. Once he got past that he was giddy again. Then came the nerves as we drove to the school with his 400 pounds of luggage.....for a 3 night trip. In my defence I didn't even pack all the things they told us to send. For instance they had sweaters, light jackets, and sweatshirts on the list. I get the idea of layers but do all these things not serve the same general purpose? I packed as much as I thought he would need and then a bit more just in case. The suitcase probably weighted more than Drew does.
So off he went and I missed him from the second he was out of my sight. The first night was torture for me but despite having the teacher's personal cell phone number I resisted calling or texting her. I rewarded myself with about 14 cookies. That's it Colleen....stuff down the pain. The second day was pretty hard on me too. Then just after dinner I get a call from Drew who is crying on the other end of the line so hard I can't even understand what he's saying. He finally catches his breath and I hear "I'm homesick Mom". Talk about breaking my heart. We chatted for about 15 minutes while he hyperventilated and sobbed. I did everything I could to be reassuring and calming however he just got himself more worked up. Finally I got him settled down enough and told him that I would call in the morning and talk to his teacher. He was still very sad and I knew just how badly he wanted to come home. I briefly talked to his classroom aide and she said that he was having a good time all day. It wasn't until his best friend lost it just after dinner that Drew finally realized just how much he missed me. I felt better knowing that he had been doing well and was enjoying himself for the most part. I spoke to Drew again to tell him that I loved him and that we'd try to figure this all out in the morning. Honestly this was just a stall tactic to give me more time to figure out what to do. I really had no idea what I'd do if the next morning he was still begging to come home. I hung up and took some deep breaths. By this this point it was now time for me to tuck Camryn into bed for the night. She went upstairs to get changed and climbed into bed for story time. When I walked into the room she looked so sad. I asked her what was wrong and she burst into tears. Then she says "Mommy, Andrew is home sick because he misses our family and now I'm Andrew sick because I miss him so much". I knew that I'd be eating more cookies pretty soon. Lots and lots of cookies.
Thankfully this morning the teacher texted me to say he was doing well and was happy. I didn't get anymore tearful phone calls tonight which is good but of course I still worry. He comes back tomorrow and I'm not sure which one of us is looking to it the most.....me, Camryn, or Drew. Bring on Friday!!
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