If I'm a Yummy Mommy I'll eat my yoga pants

Lately I've had a bit of an identity crisis. I've been in limbo in several areas of my life. The first and foremost involves my health. After my car accident 6 months ago I haven't played soccer. Being active was part of my identity. Being part of a team also was a way I viewed myself. My doctor wants me to stay hopeful that I'll get back to that but after so many months I still can't really even walk for more that 15 minutes without risking a rocking migraine. I'm also starting to realize just how independent I used to be. Having to rely on other people for so much has also changed how I view myself.

My overall physical condition has changed what I can do at work. I used to be able to get down on the floor to do therapy with the kids on my caseload. Now I don't really have a caseload because I can't do much of anything I used to. There is even some suggestion that work is already looking at retraining me in a new position. I'm not sure what to think about this. The job I am doing now is something I love. I adore working with kids who have autism. This is an enormous part of my life's purpose and who I feel I am at my core. I busted my butt getting through university....most of that time spent working and raising kids while I also took classes. I kind of felt like I had arrived!! Now it feels a little bit like I'm getting kicked out the club. So I have to face the same old question. Just what do I want to be when I grow up?

So it got me thinking: what identity do I still have left? I mean who the hell am I now? I don't play soccer, I don't really have a function at work, and I can't really do much of anything here at home. For now I guess I'm a mom and a blogger. Does that make me a Mommy blogger? I don't really consider myself to be in that league. I guess I see a true Mommy blogger as someone who blogs everyday or at least pretty close to it. I see myself as a casual blogger. Sure I post at least once a week but I guess it just seems different to me.

And please don't think I'm a Yummy Mommy. I don't know if I trust any mom who has her hair and nails done perfectly by 8:30am as she pushes a high end baby stroller around the neighborhood in her size 0 Lulu Lemon clothes. She is a mirage people. She is probably a super model who rented the baby for the day so that she can look like she's better than you. Don't be fooled. Even if I had a whole team working on me I couldn't look Yummy at any time of the day. I'm lucky if my clothes aren't covered in dog hair. Be thankful I took a shower already. That's the best I can do for yah.

So for now my identity is yet to be sorted out. As long as I don't become a Scummy Mommy blogger I guess I'm doing okay.