Puddle Jumpers

This weekend the kids and I headed on over to a popular natural area near our house. Specifically we went to the giant playground nestled into this space. It includes a water park but as we are just starting to emerge from a long cold winter the water park is far from ready to open. In fact most of the area was still covered in puddles from the freshly melted snow. Let's just say rubber boots were a better choice than bathing suits on this day. Still it was one of those days when we could shed our winter layers and just enjoy the sound of returning birds and the breeze through our hair.

When we pulled up there were plenty of other families already at the park but we managed to steal one of the 6 picnic benches in the area around the playground. I'm just saying that whoever designed a play space in a natural area with only 6 tables is an idiot. During the summer months you can't even find a place on the grass to spread open your blanket let alone a table because it's so busy. The hope of getting to sit anywhere but the burning hot pavement is squashed by the squad of "summer mothers". These women feel they are more entitled to a bench for their designer clothing clad children who won't sit down anyway and they'll claw your eyes out before they'd let you get the free table....even if you were there first. If you don't immediately recognize these women upon arriving at the park you just need to look for them hovering like vultures and sneering at anyone who dares join them in the hovering technique. It's usually not worth the fight. So you can imagine that I was surprised to find a table that I didn't need to risk my life to claim. I guess our favourite mommy friends are still in their pods waiting to hatch. I plopped down at the table and the kids took off towards the nearby equipment.

I cracked open my book and started to read. About 5 minutes in I looked up just to keep track of the kids. After searching through the crowd of about 40 or 50 other kids running and screaming as if they had been locked in cages all winter I noticed Andrew and Camryn just outside the fray. They were tromping happily through huge puddles and snow drifts left behind from Winter's clash with Spring so I went back to reading.


As the minutes turned into half an hour and then into an hour Drew and Cam continued to explore the puddles outside the main play space. Some of the time they were together in a kind of silent understanding of each others role in whatever game they were playing. Other times they were off completely alone starring at the water as it rippled in the breeze or when the tip of a twig pierced the surface. I sat there and observed them totally engaged in this activity. As I watched I realized that they were totally in their own worlds oblivious to the wild screams of the other children running around madly just 20 feet away. What they were doing was far more enticing to them than anything this playground equipment could offer. In fact I would even say that if every single child had picked up and gone home at that moment they would have continued their activities completely unaware the world outside their own little spaces.

A part of me revelled in watching them find so much entertainment in the simple act of starring at puddles. I'd be lying though if I didn't tell you that it also made me kind of sad. Here we were at this amazing playground and they could absolutely care less. The swings, slide, and dozens of other children were merely a backdrop to them. I've known for some time now that social interaction is difficult for them. Clearly with Andrew being diagnosed as having Autism and being pretty sure that we are heading that way with Camryn I don't know why this hit me harder than normal on that particular day. It was just a realization that we could indeed be completely alone in a crowd. All these other parents so blissfully unaware at what a miracle it is that their children love to be at the park and that they want to be with the other kids. I felt a bit angry at those other parents who don't have a clue how amazingly easy their kids have it. To just know what to do when you get to a busy park full of new friends. I sat and watched dozens of moms and dads follow their little ones around the playground helping them navigate the social world. Two little 4 year olds playing together as if there was no reason not to despite never having met each other before. Their parents standing watching as if this is so totally ordinary that they would never consider that it could ever be any different. Do they even appreciate what they are seeing? What their preschoolers do so automatically is very difficult for my 11 and 9 year olds.

It's not that Andrew and Camryn aren't amazing in their own right. Of course they are. And it wasn't that they were unhappy being completely removed from the social world of the playground because they weren't. In fact if they had been forced to be in the group we probably would have ended our two hour trip much sooner and inevitably someone would have been in tears at being totally overwhelmed. I do love and appreciate my kids for all their quirkiness. I wouldn't change them one bit. I was just a little bit sad at how lonely I felt at that moment.

Eventually Drew and Camryn walked over and asked to go home. I was happy to be free from this reminder at how very different our path is. It's not that it's a bad one, it's just different. To judge it compared to the so called typical path only makes it seem less than perfect when in fact it has it's own beautiful moments hidden in the journey. The trick now is to regroup and open myself up to all that it can become because in the end that is all it will ever need to be. There is beauty and wonder in being able to stare at a puddle for 2 hours and be completely content doing that. All you need is some rubber boots and a good attitude.